Friday, May 22, 2009

Coming to terms...

Well, as I suspected (due to the recent spotting and strong cravings for chocolate) AF arrived in full force last night and my blood test this morning confirmed what my body was already telling me... yet again... we are not pregnant.

I am a ball of emotions, this morning while listening to NPR a story came on about a father who lost his son in Iraq... and tears started streaming down my face. I told Nurse M. (who had done IVF with the clinic a few months ago and it hadn't worked.. her lining had never gotten thick enough) and she was and is always so comforting.. she blamed the tears on the meds and all the hormones.

I go back to the clinic today to have a consultation about an FET (frozen embryo transfer) Cycle, because we have 2 little snowbabies waiting for us. And I'd really like to just move on from the fertility treatments and either be pregnant or start the adoption process. I feel like I've come to terms with the possiblity of never having a biological child or being pregnant... I just don't know why I keep feeling like I am on the verge of tears.. I think Nurse M. is right.. its the hormones.

I'll know more about the FET later today.. I am hoping that my planning works out and I'll only have to take 1 day (during the 2nd week) off from my new job.. to come back to Pittsburgh to have the transfer. At least if, the schedule for the FET works out the way I want it to... I'll be done with Fertility Treatments for a long time!! I am not saying forever.. because who knows maybe a Federal Law will be passed mandating health coverage for Infertility or we'll have saved up enough money to do another IVF cycle in a few years... or the better outcome we'll be pregnant (let's pray for the latter).

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