Friday, June 19, 2009

Morning.. or should I say Mourning?

I know that the inability to see a BFP, even after years of trying and multiple fertility treatments, isn't the same as losing a child or pregnancy, but nonetheless I am saddened by the fact that even though it should've happened it hasn't. I feel broken, and broken-hearted.

I had hope that the single penguin would make it.. it survived the thaw.. why wouldn't it implant? Because there are other plans? Somehow the "other plans" don't really seem like the "best plans".

I honestly loved that little penguin.. I wanted to him or her and hold them, spoil them, love them, be loved by them, teach them, learn from them, but that isn't in the cards.

There is another child out there that I will get those things from. I have faith in that, faith in the path that lies ahead of us, faith that the mountain we have climbed in an effort to conceive was not in vain, faith that by mourning the inability to have a biological child I will be able to love, spoil, love, be loved by, teach, and learn from a child that is truly given to us by God.

Thank you everyone for all of your wishes and prayers.

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