First lets tackle: F.E.A.R.... As a child, there was a sibling group (little boy and his older sister) that my mother-in-law (MIL) watched... they were in the foster care program. The little boy had some SEVERE emotional and behavioral problems. I don't know the full details, but I believe there was some abuse and neglect in his background which resulted in agressive and violent behavior towards the other children. The sister on the other hand, was the EXACT opposite. We've discussed.. endlessly.. the possibility of having a child like this in our home. It isn't an easy situation and nor is it one that I can honestly say we'd be able to handle, but (as I told him) I have faith in the fact that our Caseworker (CW) will have an open line of communication with us and that if we are placed with a child that is too difficult for us, we will either get the guidance we need to be able to help the child or the child will be placed in a home better suited to his needs. So the answer is FAITH & TRUST.
Now onto L.O.V.E.... Can you really unconditionally love someone else's child? And how do you know that you can give your heart away? Again, the answer was right before our eyes... well, in my MIL's daycare. She watched a big bright eyed two year old girl.. "J.". Well J. had a fond affection for my dear husband, P., so much so that she would want cry if we left and even ask to spend the night at our house. She was a sweetheart and hard not to fall for. You could see it in both their eyes.. they LUV'd each other and she was definitely head over heals for him!! Of course, this was during the time period of our fertility treatments and the possiblity of it never working. So adoption was a general topic of our converstations and those initial questions about loving a child that isn't biologically yours came up. I "unwrapped the memories" of J. and P. and asked "If J.'s parents said that they couldn't care for her anymore and would like us to adopt her, what would you do?" His responded that he'd adopt her. And I then said "See, if you could so easily accept J., why wouldn't you be able to accept and love another child?" The light bulb went on.. he could in fact love another person's child, because he already did.
So with that, we are progressing forward with our plan to adopt through the foster care system and also become foster parents. We have scheduled our P.R.I.D.E. Training for this month. I am.. well we both are excited and nervous!! But we are turning a page!