Monday, September 13, 2010

Sometimes it can be SOOOOO


Not the parenting stuff (I am still eating it up -- beams with joy -- yes, this includes: timeouts, temper tantrums, pouty, whining, fake vomitting, mid-night feedings, and the 2 colds I have gotten in the past 2 1/2 weeks from the children). 

What I am referring to is the not being permitted to discuss their case.  I can't tell you anything about the goings on.. good or bad.  Which makes it difficult to blog, the majority of what I have to say revolves around the whole privacy issue -- and goodness knows I want to respect the children's and their parents privacy (hence the "A", "B", "C"'s with their names).

I am learning alot though... and this whole process really opens your mind as well as your heart, how can you not feel for a 2 year who is being overtly awnry after a visit?  This isn't her "normal" behavoir...  she is just a mixed up ball of emotions and this is the only way to let it out!  Or a sobbing 5 year old that can tell you how their feeling, but still doesn't understand why they feel that way? 

As heartbreaking as it can be sometimes, I know their is a light at the end of the tunnel for these children and their parents.  This process is a learning one for all of us.. we are all learning new behavoirs and adapting to what comes next.  I just keep relying on my faith, hope and love that everything will work for the best for everyone.

Overall the children are doing really well!  "A"arron still gets up at least once during the night for a feeding, but we started solids last week.. Sweet Potatoes and he LOVED them.  This week we are working on SQUASH and so far so good.. he actually lunges forward for the spoon!  The girls are also doing well.. they have not mentioned a monster once, and even request to go to bed!  They have their moments (typically after a visit which is ABSOLUTELY normal) when their behavoir is off.  We are working on a schedule for the visit to make them a bit more "managable", I am thinking that morning is best so the girls have the day at daycare to themselves mostly (they are in seperate rooms, so they can deal with their feelings in any manner they need.. which makes their change in behavoir much easier at home -- they have hours to "wind down" so to speak).

My friend over at Quaken Baby reccomended The Connected Child as a book to help deal with some of the things that Foster and Adoptive parents go through.  I have only read a few chapters, but I have to say it is absolutely enlightening and serves as a reminder that a child isn't as perseptive as an adult.  If you are a Foster Parent or an Adoptive Parent, I would reccomend this book as well.  It really helps put things in perspective when it comes to dealing with some of the erractive behavoir these children exhibit.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the shout out! :)

    I just wanted to add that EVEN if you have a newborn that was exposed in utero etc. or a birth child that you have behavioral issues with "The Connected Child" is an amazing read!

    I highly recommend it! In fact, I think that every PRIDE/MAPP class should be required to read it!

    There is focus on what to expect, but not enough on WHAT THE HECK TO DO ABOUT IT! :)

    You're doing sooooooo great! I am happy for you, the girls, and baby "Aaron"! You are making the difference for them.

    As a side note, I am happy my girls are TPR'd!



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