Tuesday, February 9, 2010

They're MY "Lady Parts"

Hey!! That's MY 'WhoHa' & 'WhatNot'!!

I don't really understand why, but whether you are Trying to Conceive (TTC'ing), undergoing Fertility Treatments (FT's), have a wonderful Baby Bump, or pursuing Adoption... people always seem to have an opinion about whats going on "down there" (you know.. with the WhoHa, VaJayJay, Egg Producers, and the habitat).

If you tell people are you are TTC'ing... they will give you advice.
If you tell people you are doing FT's... they will give you advice.
If you tell people you are pregnant... they will give you advice.
If you tell people about Adopting... they will give you advice.

Do they not think that these topics have been considered, discussed, and agreed upon?
Do they not think that their opinion may not be wanted?
Do they not think they are being completely crass?

With any topic that has some sort of connection with your WhoHa, someone will tell you some bit of advice or opinion about your decision. Trust me I've heard them (well, not the pregnancy ones.. but I do have friends who have been pregnant and have heard their complaints.. the teeth gritting restraint).

With TTC it comes to questioning your knowledge of your decision:
"Are you sure you're ready for this? Kids can be quite a handful."
No, I didn't think about it... aren't kids like dogs? I just crate them when I have to go somewhere? And teach them how to pee/poop in the yard? They can run around naked, right?

With Fertility Treatments it comes with questioning your TTC efforts:
 "Well did you 'actually try'?"
"What about doggie style? You could have a tilted uterus you know."
"Maybe you should just relax or go on vacation, it worked for my friend.":
OMG!! We were supposed to have SEX?!?! That's how you get a baby bump... darnit!! We've only been making-out this whole time.. Lots of make-out sessions! I really thought that you got preggo through saliva! Oh, all these years wasted... did I mention my lips are chapped for no reason now!

With pregnancy it comes with questioning your birth plan:
"Well, you know you need an epidural. There's alot of pain involved with popping a baby out of your WhoHa!"
"What? You're planning a C-Section? Well, you won't really understand what being a mother is like without experiencing a vaginal birth!"
"A waterbirth? Are you disgusting? You want to lay in the waters created by your labor? You know you could poop, right? Then you'd be in poopy water!"
I didn't even know that you had to push out the baby... or that they could cut your tummy open... Wait, Wait!! POOP!?!? I am going to POOP!!! Forget it.. how can I get the baby out... I ummm yah, don't wanna do this anymore.

Oh and then there is Adoption, you get lots of fun ones with this topic:
"You did try didn't you?"
"You can hire a surrogate. You know about those, don't you?"
"Well did you try to make a petry dish baby... That always works!"
or (my favorite)
"You know you'll get pregnant now!!"
Of course I am going to get pregnant!! That is why we want to adopt.. don't worry we'll give back the kid once we have one of "our" own. Oh, and for the record, I do have 5 "petry dish" babies.. that just didn't really feel comfortable in my "habitat".

So, Guess What?
They are MY "Lady Parts" and
I will do with them what I wish!!

But thanks for your unsolicited "advice" and "opinions"!


  1. damn people and their opinions. I just like to hear your journey because its all new too me. I would never tell you what to do with your who-ha!

    One thing that used to bug my sister when she had the bump was peoples need to touch it. all the time. strangers. I know when my day comes for a bump that will weird me out too. <3

  2. Uh..oh...someone forgot to tell me not to crate the baby!

  3. so so so very true. i had a woman who had miscarried tell me if I would just put my legs up after sex .....i was like really? that will stop MCs? how long do you have to stay like that 9 months? geez....people and their "help" or ass-vice.

  4. hahaha... "ass-vice"!!

    and val...umm of course your supposed to crate the baby.. seriously what else are you supposed to do?

  5. Love it! So true. I've gotten lots of that stupid advice in our 4 yrs of TTC. My favorite was when someone seriously asked "You do know how to have sex, don't you?"

  6. Oops I probably said something really dumb on Sunday...sorry ;) You forgot all of the horror stories that everone tells you!

  7. Kat, you didn't say anything on Sunday (at least that I can remember). I was just having fun with all the stupid stuff people say when it comes to anything related to "Down There". :D



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