Adjust, Alter, Amend

The way we talk about things in life may be "normal", but should they be? Should we never.. "Adjust, Alter, Amend" our terms, our verbiage, or even our perceptions?

With infertilty.. the "normal" reaction by friends and family is "Who's problem is it?" or "Who's fault is it?" Because that is what they assume, its a problem, a fault, an issue.. not a disease, not something that could be corrected with medical help.

With adoption.. the "normal" reacation by friends and family is "Why'd the mother give up the baby?" or "How could someone give up something so precious?" Because that is what they assume, the parents just threw away the child, they had more important things to do with their life than parent.. not that they CHOSE adoption, that they pondered the consquences of their decision, that they consicously made this decision that will not only affect the rest of their lives, but the rest of the child's life, as well as the adoptive family's lives.

So why not advocate for our friends and family to Adjust, Alter, Amend their percepations and even verbiage when it comes to these very personal and emotially sensitive topics.  Why should we continue to accept the "normal" reactions, instead of requesting the "appropriate" reactions?

Infertility is a painful and difficult time in a person's and a couple's lives... in fact some couples do not survive past the prognosis.  The pain and anger over not being able to conceive outweighs the love they once had for each other.  There are many emotional struggles when dealing with Infertility and then the treatments associated with "curing" it.  But with patience and "appropriate" reactions from friends and family, the emotional struggles can be overcome by the support and love they receive.

Adoption is the same... people don't give up, it isn't a failure to have your child adopted by another family... it is a choice, it is a heartfelt decision to do something so selfless for the child and another family. 

 

So Adjust, Alter, Amend...

"Infertility is a Disease"  and "Adoption is a Choice"

both require two simple, hearfelt things:

Sympathy and Empathy.

Oh yah.. and ummmm... we are also officially licensed. (okay that was a bit nonchalant).. so,

WE ARE OFFICIALLY LICENSED!!

I have a feeling that we will be having quite a few things to Adjust, Alter, Amend in our daily lives, in the very near future.