Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Page out of Someone Else's Book

I read this blog every so often.. not so much anymore, not because I don't remember what infertility feels like, but because I am busy.  I barely take the time to blog regularly myself, nevermind catch up on everyone elses. But this title caught my eye... Living with Infertility: Take Two .. so I journeyed over younder and read it. And I agree with it.  I know I am still greiving.. I know I am still living with infertility, but I know that I am going to live and I am going to live a happy life, with a biological child or not.

So now onto Kieko's task... I am going to step back to a few previous posts.. one in the early stages of our Clammer to Conception.. and one at the Final Curtain Call of Fertility Treatments.

Clammer to Conception: We tried, well not tried, we just didn't prevent pregnancy for the first few years of our marriage.  And when we started trying.. it wasn't happening.  Finally they ordered some tests, bloodwork, exams, semen analysis.. yada, yada.. and we were diagnosed and prescribed fertility treatments. The reason we couldn't conceiven naturally we were known as being SUBFERTILE -- what's that mean? Well all the plumbing works correctly.. there are just "minor" factors inhibiting our ability to conceive.  We were told IUI will definitely work, but we could try this magic pill in the meantime (aka clomid.. the thought was the more eggs = more targets).  We had hope that we'd conceive and insurance that covered it.. I remember that excitement at a chance.

Final Curtain: I felt like I was on that journey forever, but in reality it was only a year between an official diagnosis and our last treatment cycle (it probably feels longer because I have short cycles.. the "average" woman has 13 cycles a year -- that is basing it on a 28 day cycle; I have 15-16 cycles in a year).  Anyway, this particular post, isn't from our LAST Treatment Cycle, but it was one of the final treatments we endured.  And those feelings from that morning are forever burned into my heart.. the tears must have been acid tears.. because it is litterally burned into my memory... the grief, the loss is still there when I think about it.

So what's your journey?  What can you recall with the realness of today? And if you don't have a journey, remember that 1 in 8 couples do.. because even the Birds and the Bees have trouble conceiving.  So on a lighter note, I leave you with this music video ... see even us infertiles can laugh at our state:

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