Run deep, right?
So because we have like nothing going on the Foster Care front.... I think.. and I think some more (I know you see/smell the smoke). And what amazes me, is that people still and probably will continue to have hope, that P and I will be able to conceive our own child.
"It only takes one sperm and one egg, ya know?"
"Well, it happens all the time, people don't think they can conceive.. tried everything and wind up pregnant with their own after they adopt!"
Okay, folks.. I've given up hope.. not because I feel hopeless, but because I feel hopeful. I feel hopeful that our path to parenthood and family, is not one brought to us by biology and bloodlines, but through love, faith, and most importantly hope. I don't need your hope.. I have my own. I have hope that the child(ren) that come(s) into our lives will be brought to us because it is our hope, to give a child(ren) a loving and stable home.
I had heard that the realty behind all these *miracle* conceptions (after being told a couple was infertile [which the truth is we are not -- in.fertile --> we are sub.fertile, which in itself is funny because P was a sub.mariner] and the couple moves onto adoption, and succesfully adopts) is actually pretty low... even if it happened to your brother-in-law's, cousin's, best friend's, mother-in-law. So I googled and found this website: Statistics on conceptions after adoption. Basically it says that the rate of biological child after adopting, is between 3% - 10%. Not exactly the "it happens to everyone" theory that we hear all the time, is it? So, 90% - 97% never have a biological child after adopting.
And why do I need the hope of a biological child? I know that the hope of a child that needs me, is enough for me.. for us. We are on a path, a journey, for better or worse, together... we have hope that this is the right path for us. I don't need to be pregnant, give birth, or even adopt to be a family or a parent. Our path, our hope, is that through Foster Care we can do good.
SO...
because adopting a child, and even fostering a child... will make them "my own"...
AND....
You already know I am SO with you on this post. The funny thing is our Foster Care workers both actually told me about two couples that fostered-adopted-conceived. With that said, those are two couples out of the 100 homes we have in our town. So that's a 2% rate right? :)
ReplyDeleteI agree I do not need to have a baby to be a mom and I know our kids are out there and honestly, they need us MORE than we need them!
Maddie, I have always admired your take on this issue and I agree with you..
ReplyDeleteI know that God has something great in store for you and P and I'm sure you both will be great parents!
You're always in my prayers!
Thanks for posting this - you said it so well.
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