Monday, November 1, 2010

New Adventures.. New Questions.

So awhile back I posted some pretty annoying questions that I had heard regularly while attempting to conceive.

And, now that we are fostering, I hear new questions about the same old thing.. KIDS!  Well, not Question"S" but a QUESTION...

"Will you get to adopt them?"

And the simple answer is "Maybe". 

However, the reality is that we are foster parents.  Children come to us while their families are in crisis, while their parents are learning to parent, and while Child Protective Services (CPS) is seeking a safe home for the children.  Once the parents learn to parent and are out of crisis, there is no need for the CPS to keep the children safe and they can/will be returned to their family. 

Although, in the event that the parents do not learn to parent or are still in crisis there is a possibility of adoption... but here is the sticky part.  Foster parents ARE NOT the first choice as adoptive parents (not because the CPS doesn't want the foster parent to adopt).  The reason foster parents aren't the first choice, is because it is important to keep a biological family bond... so CPS looks at Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins, and even close family friends... THEN they look at the Foster Parents and FINALLY they look a Pre-Adoptive Home (a home in which the children may have never met their future adoptive family).

What I WE are learning is that after trying sooo long to have biological children (and yes we would LOVE to adopt), that having (whether through adoption or birth) a child/ren isn't as important as helping a child/ren.  By being foster parents, we are doing just that.. helping children in need.

So in case you are wondering.. even if we adopt (any of our foster children) we will still continue take in new  foster children and be foster parents.
Our Big Girl and I had a conversation on this topic, a few weeks ago...

    Cindy -  "Miss M. why don't you have any babies?"
    Me - "Well, God didn't give us any babies"
    Cindy - "Why didn't he?"
    Me - "Because he wanted us to be able to take care of kids like you."


     Cindy - "I have an idea!"
     Me - "Really? What's that?"
     Cindy - "You could pray to God to give you a baby of your own."
Just wanted to share the wisdom of 5 year old.


  1. i hope i didn't annoy you last night then!

  2. @Maggie - no not annoying.. i just realizing its a question on everyone's mind.. so i figured i'd better blog about it.

  3. I haven't asked the question becuase truthfully I know the answer already.

    Between you and my sis's MIL I have been shown a side to fostering that has opened my mind. Our plan is to foster in a few years when our little ones are older.

    What you are doing is an amazing thing. Without people like you, many of these children would be lost.

  4. I so happy I stumbled onto your blog...we are new foster parents and you are absolutely right in saying "fostering is all about helping children in crisis" foster parents often have to put our own feelings and emotions aside and do what's best for the children, no matter how much it hurts.

    Cindy sounds like a beautiful little girl, she's blessed to have you.



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